Monday, November 15, 2010

See you next month

I am going to be in hiding for the next 3 weeks. I am training for the marathon, catching up on sleep and trying to stay focused.

Thanks for following me this far. I will come back refreshed and ready for my next phase of this wonderful journey.

:) Love you <3

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Saturday/ Sunday

Saturday

Food Journal:

Breakfast- oatmeal w/ cinnamon, bagel w/ Earth Balance

No snack

Lunch- brown rice, black beans, spinach and corn

Snack- small packet of peanuts, large pear

Dinner- brown rice, meatless meatballs, salsa

No workout.

I was really tired and I am guessing my body need a really good rest. I fell asleep at 7:30pm and didn't wake up until it was time to go to work the next day. I actually slept 13 hours. Wooohooo! It felt wonderful.

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Sunday

Food Journal:

Breakfast- bagel

Snack- Tricuit crackers

Lunch- brown rice, meatless meatballs w/ soyaki sauce

Dinner- (Sweet Tomatoes) salad, 1 1/2 cups of soup, 1 breadstick, brownie and 2 cups of coffee

Workout Journal:

Yoga Meltdown Level 2

Friday, November 12, 2010

Thursday/ Friday

Thursday

Food Journal:

Breakfast- oatmeal w/ soy milk and cinnamon. 2 slices of toast

Post workout meal- (Sweet Tomatoes) salad, 2 cups of soup, 1 breadstick, 2 cups of coffee, 1 brownie

a strawberry margarita, 1 small bag of vinegar and salt chips

Dinner- veggie burrito (whole wheat tortilla, brown rice, black beans, veggies, sweet potatoes, pico de gallo, lettuce, hot salsa). lemonade.

Dessert- a few small spoons of cookie dough ice cream.

Workout Journal:

10 mile run
4 hours of walking at an amusement park

My bestfriend and I took our kids to an amusement park today. I was aiming for a 13 mile run but I had a slight time constraint which didn't allow me to finish. I didn't make it to the gym as early as I wanted to.

After the amusement park we went to eat some dinner and dessert. My daughter and I shared an almond milk based ice cream. There were no added preservatives or unhealthy ingredients. This ice cream was actually vegan. :)

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Friday

Food Journal:

Breakfast- none

Snack- none

2 sugar free hard candies

Lunch- brown rice, black beans, salsa and broccoli. 1/2 cup cinnamon life cereal w/ soy milk (This was to satisfy my sweet tooth:)

Snack- granola bar

french fries (yep, sure did)

Dinner- meatless meatball pita pocket (whole wheat pita pocket, meatless meatballs, roasted salsa, sauteed onions and guacamole)

No workout.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wednesday.....Ummmm, snap out of it!!! NOW!

Food Journal:

Breakfast- nothing. a few Tricuits over a 4 hour period.

Lunch- 3 pita pizzas. (whole wheat pita bread, tomato paste, spinach and salsa w/ a spinkle of nutritional yeast. 2 cc cookies

I started only eating 2 and was kind of full but I was super greedy so I made another one. I regreted it after because I was soooo full I was uncomfortable. I think I might have been a slight bit of an emotional eater today.

About 1 1/2 hrs later: I had a few bites of teriyaki tofu from my daughter's teriyaki bowl. Maybe 5 pieces.

Around 6:30pm: 1 hot chai tea soy latte from Starbucks. It was super cold outside and I was craving this tea all week. I had to stop and get one.

Dinner- nothing. a few Tricuits. I was still full from lunch.

No workout today. I am resting for a long run tomorrow. My goal is to run 13 miles. YES I have to do it in order to get out of my rut. I am feeling really down today.

26 days away and I am feeling nervous

Okay today I am very nervous and kind of doubting my ability to run this 1/2 marathon. I feel like I should have trained harder.

I think that I might just be PMSing because that time is coming soon. Not really sure but I have to stay positive.

I might go into hiding for a little while until the marathon. I might also just be over reacting because the day is getting closer.

I have been so used to failing at things or not following through that I guess this might be a little scary for me right now. I am finally going to go for a dream of mine. I might actually succeed at something BIG and it is unfamiliar to me.

I mean I have tried other small things but nothing of this magnitude. I have always lost 10 lbs and gained 20. I have ran 11 miles but can I run 13.2 on the street.

Will I fail? Will I finish strong?

Did I prepare enough? Should I have lost more weight?

All of these questions tortured me today. I kind of got down on myself and I don't know what to do.

The only thing I know to do is pray, meditate, refocus and push harder over the next 25 days. I must become more disciplined and dedicated than ever.

I need to be mentally strong and physically disciplined in order to achieve this goal. In my spirit I know I can do it but my little scary cat mind is doubting my abilities.

Just wanted to let you know how I feel today. This is a journey and some days are smoother than others.

One thing I am certain of...I will follow through. Even if I have to crawl across that finish line...I will cross it and be proud of myself.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tuesday. Rest day.

Food Journal:

Breakfast- 1/2 brown rice and black bean wrap w/ salsa

Snack- few apple slices, a few crackers

Lunch- brown rice, black beans, corn and spinach w/ salsa

Snack- a few apple slices, a few crackers

Snack- 1/2 veggie hummus wrap from Fresh and Easy (I love these!)

Dinner- PB&J on whole wheat bread, brown rice tortilla w/ Earth Balance

I wasn't really hungry when I got home. I just wanted something lite. I was not really in the mood for hot food.

I sucked on a few sugar free hard candies today. I had 3 or 4 of them throughout the day. A resident brought us some Dunkin Donuts and I did everything to avoid eating one although it was whispering my name all day. I managed to avoid it. Yay! ME!

No cardio workout. Abs only.

I am off 1/2 of Wednesday and all day Thursday so I plan to do a long distance run one of those days. Time is winding down but I am confident I will be ready as long as I do lots of cardio. My endurance needs to be strong. :)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Monday....Feeling Good

Food Journal:

Breakfast- Nothing

Snack- apple slices and tsp PB

Lunch- broccoli, meatless meatballs w/ teriyaki sauce

Snack- a handful of plain cornuts, a few crackers

Dinner- brown rice, teriyaki tofu and stir fry veggies

Post workout snack- apple slices and 1/2 tsp of PB

Workout Journal:

1 hr on the stair climber. I did 30 minutes of the strength program and 30 minutes of the endurance program.

I remember when I hated the stair climber because it was soooooooo hard for me. My legs would get tired and my endurance was definitely not strong. I LOVE IT NOW!

I traded one unhealthy overeating addiction for the addiction to exercise. I couldn't wait to workout today. I went to the gym at 8pm because I couldn't just sit at home and watch TV. I watched it while I was working out. That is a way to be productive....lol!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Saturday/ Sunday....Lots of fun! I love to dance.

Saturday

Breakfast- brown rice farina w/ soy milk and banana. bagel.

Post workout meal- brown rice tortilla w/ green chile curry tofu. apple slices w/ 1 tsp peanut butter

Lunch- 1/2 veggie burrito, 1 stick of a Twix

Dinner- My daughter and I went out to eat dinner and shared a veggie stuffed baked potato and a salad at Friday's.

Dessert- 3 CC cookies. I baked them with just brown rice flour, baking powder, banana, u/s applesauce, cinnamon and vegan chocolate chips.

Workout Journal:

5 mile intense run. I did sprints and uphill drills throughout the whole workout. I also ran at 6 mph for a long period of time. I was able to do the 5 miles in 1 hour which is great time for me.

1 hr of Wii Just Dance 2. My daughter and I had a fun night. We went to dinner and then went to take pictures of the conservatory at the Bellagio Hotel. It is decorated for the harvest season.

Then we rented some Wii games on our way home. We rented Just Dance 2 and I had an amazing workout dancing for 1 hour straight. I was sweating so much I had to shower once I was done. My hair was drenched. I loved this workout. Needless to say I am buying this game really soon.

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Sunday

Breakfast- 2 slices of toast w/ Earth Balance

Snacks- over a 6 hour period while at work. 2 homemade cookies, crackers, apple slices with PB. Lots of water.

Lunch/ Dinner- (Sweet Tomatoes, mom's treat:) salad, 1 cup of lentil soup, 1 cup veggie soup, 1 bread stick, cup of coffee w/ pumpkin cranberry muffin.

Post workout snack- a few baked french fries (about 6) and a few pieces of broccoli.
I wasn't really hungry but I knew that if I didn't have a small snack I would wake up extremely nauseous since I had a hard workout.

Workout Journal:
3 mile run sprints and uphill drills
30 minutes bike varying speeds and intensities
30 minutes stair climber strength program, varying speeds and intensities

AWESOME! workout.

I put on this jacket today for work. I have had it for about 5 years and was never able to close it shut. I tried to close it today and guess what? It closed? It wasn't even tight. Wooohooo! I don't wear it closed but it's cool to know that I can if I wanted to. :)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Just my confessions.

Today was my day off and I decided to go for a run at the gym. I can't run the street when my daughter is home with me.

So I got up, ate breakfast and hit the gym. I was not in the mood to run today but I forced myself to go. Although I love the feeling of accomplishment, running 11 miles or more is extremely demanding on me.

It is really hard mentally and physically for me to run that distance. I know I can do it but it takes a lot of effort for me still.

I know I am in much better shape now but it is still hard at times to even run 6 miles. Not physically by mentally. I have to prepare myself and talk to myself through the workout.

Today I was encouraging myself and picturing myself running the marathon. I kept turning to look at myself in the mirror (to my right side). At first I was "dang who is that girl". It is funny how I still feel I am fat. I still have a fat girl mentality at times.

The first time I looked at myself I couldn't believe it was really me. I looked so small. Like many of us, there are days I feel slim and strong and others I feel fat and bloated. Today I had to accept that I am actually smaller and it's okay to feel good about that.

I still make excuses and say "I am still not at my goal weight". That stops me from allowing myself to feel proud of what I have accomplished this far. It is like an unhealthy body image issue or a love hate relationship with myself. It is my defense mentality. The state of mind that tries to protect itself from failure and feeling disappointed or rejected.

But DANG it I am beautiful and strong and I should be proud of where I am. I may not be at my goal but I am doing great and I am so much stronger than I was. It still amazing me how much my body has changed inside.

I can run at 6.0 mph longer than I used to. My muscles are stronger in my legs and my heart. That feels so FABULOUS! Look at me now because I won't be here too much longer. I know I will get stronger and my body will continue to change.

Only I know how much this means to me because it is such a personal journey. I have been fat, insecure and so unhappy with myself for over 11 years. To be where I am today is so beyond words. I didn't take magic pills or a crazy diet to get here.

It took hardwork, dedication and preserverance to reach this place in my life. I am so happy and no one can get in the way of that.

The other day I was kind down because of some personal relationship issues. I kept thinking "am I not pretty enough...what is it about me....am I not desireable". My mind went back to that weak victim mentality BUT then I snapped out of it and said "you are beautiful, strong, and powerful. You have accomplished so much. You have raised your amazing daughter on your own. Anyone would be so lucky to have you in there life. If they don't have you is because they don't deserve to have you."

I had to speak truth to myself in the midst of the sadness and lonliness. So that is why this journey is so meaningful to me. Only I know where I have come from. Only I know the struggles I have had to fight within. Only I know the battles I have won and the thoughts I have had to surrender to God.

SO I must confess it all to get over it and move forward....stronger and more powerful than ever. :) Thank you for listening.

Idea! What do you think?

So I have been thinking about creating a video blog on YouTube leading up to the marathon. Some of the things I feel are very hard to express on this blog. I would rather record them on video and possibly inspire someone else to take a step towards health and fulfilling their dreams.

Let me know what you think?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Friday

Food Journal:

Breakfast- 1 PB&J, 1/2 bagel
I was hungry but not really in the mood for food.

Lunch- brown rice tortilla w/ black beans and corn

Snack- small chocolate strawberry banana milkshake (soy milk, banana, strawberries and cocoa powder)

Snack- 1 slice of vegan pizza, a few sips of a smoothie, a few bites of a vegan chocolate chip cookie (mine are better)

Dinner- a little bit of brown rice pasta, tomatoes and broccoli. a few baked fries w/ ketchup

No workout. Abs only.

My legs are so sore that it is uncomfortable to walk. My abs are also really sore. I was really busy taking care of errands today and I was also really tired so I didn't go running. I will go running tomorrow morning.

:)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thursday

Food Journal:

Breakfast- brown rice, black beans and brown rice tortilla (Yep I sure did eat this for breakfast. I can eat this everyday, all day and not get tired of it.), 1/2 PB&J

Snack- none

Lunch- brown rice and black beans wrap, 1/2 PB&J

Snack- Larabar

Snack- a few sweet potato chips w/ salsa

Dinner- green chile curry tofu with brown rice

Okay so I know I am eating too many carbs. I love brown rice and have a hard time not eating it if I have it made already. I am going to only load up on the carbs the days that I know I will have time to burn them off with a long run.

I don't want to gain weight because I am overloading on carbs.

Here is the map of the route for the 1/2 Marathon I will be running on December 5th.:)Looking at it just gives me the chills because I am still amazed that I will actually be running it this year.

Words can't discribe what this means to me. I am having some shirts made for whoever is going to come root me on. I can't wait to see my cheering section rooting me along the way. :) It's going to be awesome. I know the energy will be electric and it will give me the strength I need to push through and finish strong.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Monday/ Tuesday/ Wednesday

I haven't blogged for a couple of days. Sorry. I get home pretty late, get dinner made, get things ready for the next day, take a shower and then go to sleep. I haven't had too much time for anything during the work week.

Monday-
Breakfast: Lemon Zest Luna bar
Lunch: veggie and hummus wrap
Snack: Lemon Zest Luna bar
Dinner- a few garlic fries (baked)
Not sure what else I ate but it wasn't too bad.

I did not workout.

Tuesday-

Breakfast: a few bites of brown rice farina, 1 Larabar
Lunch: brown rice, beans and salsa
Snack: Larabar
Snack: PB&J sandwich
Dinner: salad, cup of lentil soup, 1 mini breadstick, 1/2 brownie (from Sweet Tomatoes), water and coffee

No workout.


Wednesday-

Breakfast: brown rice, black beans and salsa in a brown rice tortilla
Snack: Larabar
Lunch: brown rice, black beans and broccoli w/ salsa. PB&J sandwich. (I was so hungry)
Snack- 2/3 of a Larabar
Dinner- brown rice, broccoli w/ hot sauce and soy sauce

2 tiny pieces of candy

45 minutes cardio circuits (Burn Fat Blast Metabolism DVD)


I went to the Dr. on Tuesday for a general check up and to get an okay to run the marathon. I didn't know that it was exactly 1 year since I last saw my Dr. He was so pleased with how great I was doing. The last time I went to see him I had issues with my heart. I have a slight heart murmur and it was really acting up. I was also 23 lbs heavier.

This visit he was so happy and impressed to know I had lost weight and my heart was much stronger. Although he still hears the murmur he said my heart is working more efficiently. My EKG came out wonderful and now we are just waiting to see how my blood work comes out. I will go do my blood work on Friday since I have to fast.

He wants to make sure that my sugars don't go down too low after I run the marathon. He wants to check everything out since I told him all my concerns and explained the things I have noticed. I told him about my headaches after I workout and my dizziness when I don't eat consistently.

I also let him know I was vegan and he was very impressed. I had a great visit and I am sure my follow up will be great too. Hopefully the symptoms I have been experiencing are just a part of the new diet and exercise routine.